Valentines

Samma-araham*

I am blessed beyond measure.  My heart swells with the nourishing food your love provides.  I give you everything and I get back a thousand times more.  All the hardships, all the struggles, it is all worth it.  It makes our family stronger. 

I cry tears of joy for these blessings.  I pray to God with my gratitude.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  I pray that He continue to give me strength to keep doing my best.  And please don’t let me slip into doing any less. 

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Baby’s breath

Baby’s breath

A chorus of rain drops
Speeding cars
Wind blown branches
Are our lullaby tonight

I see your face in the
Night light
Little cherub cheeks
Long dark lashes
Like bird’s feathers

We cuddle under a blanket
Your tiny toes on my back
Your soft breaths
Like tiny white flower buds
In my hair

Everything
Everything
Was worth it
To get me to now
To get me to you

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Valentines

I am blessed beyond measure.  My heart swells with the nourishing food your love provides.  I give you everything and I get back a thousand times more.  All the hardships, all the struggles, it is all worth it.  It makes our family stronger. 

I cry tears of joy for these blessings.  I pray to God with my gratitude.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  I pray that He continue to give me strength to keep doing my best.  And please don’t let me slip into doing any less. 

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Help a mommy out

You will never be judged like you will when you are a new mother. 

 

This is what I wish I knew beforehand because it caught me completely off guard.  You will never receive so many unsolicited opinions and advice as when you have a new baby (even more so than when you are pregnant- which I also found surprising because the constant advisories during those nine months were excessive!)  People will pry and practically interrogate you.

 

It seems like everyone, from maternity nurses to your next-door-neighbor, has an opinion of what’s best for your child.  But, this seldom takes into account that by and large new mothers are trying their absolute best with whatever their particular circumstances.  This point is what I wish people would consider: (most) moms are really trying their best.

 

My strategy for handling unwarranted criticism of your new motherhood: pull out the GFY card (Go F*@K Yourself) often.  I am seriously considering doing the free 250 business card deal at vistaprint just so I can have the letters “GFY” printed up.  This way if someone is sticking their nose in my mommy business, I can excuse myself to change my baby’s diaper and say, “I have to care for my child now… but here, please take my card.”

 

You will also receive much well-meaning advice to which I don’t believe in automatically discarding.  I actually enjoy gathering different perspectives and parenting techniques from other people provided that it is coming from a place of sincerity.  I believe it helps to have a lot of information so that you can make informed decisions.

 

In addition to first hand accounts from friends and family, I also comb voraciously through parenting books for “expert” advice and techniques.  But this too is all done with a discerning eye.  What it all comes down to for me is making informed decisions that also align with my intuitive leanings as a mom.

 

Before I go, please try to help other moms out.  We have to stick together.  Seriously, we should start a club.

 

Did you get 30 newborn onesies at your baby shower?  Pay it forward.  Did you receive two swings?  Help a mommy out.  The world will be a better place because you did.

 

#newmoms #helpamommyout #payitforward #GFY

 

 

 

Meditation

I see with my eyes closed

Evolving shapes in mauve

Let light emanate from me

In my meditative state

I push my light out into the world

It starts with a spark within

I gently push all thoughts

Out of my mind

Repeating the mantra

Samma-araham*

I am aware without my thoughts

I exist happily in my

Sparkling rose essence

*”righteous Absolute of Attainment which a human being can achieve”

From: http://web-us.com/meditation/alternateguidemeditate.html

Happiness

It’s been a long, long time coming.  I am happy now.  So truly happy.  It feels like a dream.  I am blessed in so many ways.  I am embarking on a new dream career.  I’ve lost 17.5 lbs on Jenny Craig.  I have wonderful friends and family.  I met an incredible man on a similar path as me.  It’s amazing how things all work out.

It took tenacity to get to where I am, a lot of hard work and unflinching focus.  And I know it will take the same tenacity to keep the dream moving forward but now it’s time to bask in the glow a bit. Here’s where I’m smiling serenely basking in said glow.

Happiness is something you need to maintain.  It starts with an optimistic outlook and continues with perseverance in spite of the odds against you.  You may get derailed by poisonous people but remember that’s a minor blip, dust yourself off and get back on track.

Happiness is what you maintain in spite of adversity.  When you get into adversity, it’s easy to lose sight and stop counting your blessings.  For instance, I got into a car accident yesterday.  No one was hurt.  But it was my fault and my insurance is going to go up and I have a deductible.  It could have totally killed my happiness but I didn’t let it.  I let go and let God.  And the blessings continue to flow.

I’m an adherent to The Four Agreements (Don Miguel Ruiz) and I’ve read every book in the series.  And I’m a believer in their power to transform your life into a dream.  Everything is a test.  But so are blessings.  They are a test to see what you do with them, to see how you treat and appreciate them.  I’d like to move into mastery but right now I’m still battling it out in the warrior phase.

Not taking anything personally

Not making any assumptions

Being impeccable

And doing my best.

 

A Public Service Announcement From ME

Beware the following individuals are in our midst:

USERS

Users are the epitome of selfishness.  They are ego-centric, the world revolves around them.  They will take and take from good people and never once return the favor.  Once they have taken all that they can from you, you will be discarded without remorse.  Rehabilitation is close to impossible, do not think you can make an exception.  Don’t be surprised if they come looking for favors, usually sexual in nature, even after your relationship has ended.  They just haven’t found a new sucker to use yet.

EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES

Emotional vampires seek to suck the light right out of you.  They live in a dark hole of life, usually depressives not getting help.  They are attracted to emotional health, vibrancy, and enthusiasm.  They will steal your fire and suck the life right out of you until you become just like them, miserable.

SPACE CADETS

Space cadets are emotionally decrepit people.  Do not try to analyze their disability.  I used to think that they couldn’t help that they are emotionally handicapped and it could be overlooked.  They are almost always physically beautiful.  And their aloofness may sometimes be attractive even, but this is a guaranteed heart-break.  They love having the upper hand of not caring to your ultimate downfall.

TROLLS

Trolls have no life, are almost always nerds, sometimes hoarders of sorts.  They are usually highly intelligent but beware they are known for stalking behavior and sometimes harassment.  Do not make the mistake of feeling sorry for them.  Once you give them an inch of attention, they will latch on to you.  They will shower you with attention and compliments.  This is obsession not love.  The moment you show any doubt to their character, they will unleash their troll fury on you.

 

Remember you are not here to be a savior to any of these people.  Let them find religion and become reborn on their own account.  If you see any of these people (they come in all shapes, genders, and nationalities, etc.),  RUN, don’t walk, away.

Irrelevance

31 is not past prime,

It’s just getting started for

Me.

 

And for once in my life,

I’m focusing on #1:

Me.

 

Put all that energy

And devotion I was giving you

And put it into

Me.

 

‘Cause you know who’s worthy?

Me.

 

Everything else is irrelevant.

 

“Come on take a walk on the wild side.  Whatever gets you hot in the pouring rain.  You like your girls insane.” – Lana Del Rey

 

http://youtu.be/Bag1gUxuU0g