“Let’s leave this year behind”

You try to check everything off your to do list.  You make resolutions you fear you will not keep.  You attempt to make amends with people from your past.  It blows up in your face.  Some people never change.  And they will hold that heavy hate in their chests for the rest of their lives.  But not you… you feel free on this cusp.  One less chip on my shoulder…

You meet a new friend who you connect with on an intimate level.  Seems like a crazy crazy dream and something stirs in your soul.  Sparks fly.  Creativity flows.  You emerge on play after a very long pause.  You touch me like no one else can do.

I am raw and a bit numb.  Maybe it’s winter or a cold.  There’s so much to do yet.  Ready or not, time bends.  And quit trying to figure me out because I still can’t.

 

Let’s leave this year behind – Melissa Ferrick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP2us_UfsQk

 

 

Still I can see… from a pause

I think of you from time to time.  And you are so many people.  I’m sure the reflection reflects back.  Play me some strings.  In fact, play me a song.  Or have you forgotten how?  Have you forgotten the music?  I almost did.   Perhaps it was a pause.  I can’t explain being on pause other than just stopping and that’s pretty accurate.  But there’s something violent in the impetus of a pause.  It takes something of a greater force to get going again.  And I will play you a song now.  How I forgive you…  How I wish you the world… How I wish you well…  I held on tight to a principle and paid a heavy burden.  And I realize I hold on a lot to this right and wrong while I judge you for judging and it’s a real hypocrisy that needs to stop.  But there’s only so much I can change.  The rest is fixed.  I only hope you forgive me too.  And I think you do.  There’s a light on in the hallway and it’s 4:30am.  I see.  I stand.  My hands toil this earth as do yours.  And mine’s always been outstretched in your direction.  It’s so quiet sometimes. I’ll wear a feather in my ear to symbolize flight.  I want to be like the honeybee working hard and sipping nectar.  And I think I am.  But would you believe me if I told you I suspect it’s a little harder for me with these emotions on my sleeve?

 

Here are the songs I was listening to while I wrote my rant from a pause.  Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcrEqIpi6sg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpGrcXJcVWE&feature=colike

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzoxFtsIV2o&feature=colike

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f0hSU__zjw&feature=colike

 

Christmas

Christmas –

Under the North Star,

There’s a bend in time

There’s a mend in my mind

I put my hands up

I drove you out

And the galaxy smiled

Down on me…

 

There’s no better gift than this

No other gift

That gives like this

My present is my present

Belonging to no one other

Than me.

I toast to this.

 

And I wish I could say,

I forgive you

This Christmas day

Because Jesus

Would want it that way.

 

There’s always next year.