You will never be judged like you will when you are a new mother.
This is what I wish I knew beforehand because it caught me completely off guard. You will never receive so many unsolicited opinions and advice as when you have a new baby (even more so than when you are pregnant- which I also found surprising because the constant advisories during those nine months were excessive!) People will pry and practically interrogate you.
It seems like everyone, from maternity nurses to your next-door-neighbor, has an opinion of what’s best for your child. But, this seldom takes into account that by and large new mothers are trying their absolute best with whatever their particular circumstances. This point is what I wish people would consider: (most) moms are really trying their best.
My strategy for handling unwarranted criticism of your new motherhood: pull out the GFY card (Go F*@K Yourself) often. I am seriously considering doing the free 250 business card deal at vistaprint just so I can have the letters “GFY” printed up. This way if someone is sticking their nose in my mommy business, I can excuse myself to change my baby’s diaper and say, “I have to care for my child now… but here, please take my card.”
You will also receive much well-meaning advice to which I don’t believe in automatically discarding. I actually enjoy gathering different perspectives and parenting techniques from other people provided that it is coming from a place of sincerity. I believe it helps to have a lot of information so that you can make informed decisions.
In addition to first hand accounts from friends and family, I also comb voraciously through parenting books for “expert” advice and techniques. But this too is all done with a discerning eye. What it all comes down to for me is making informed decisions that also align with my intuitive leanings as a mom.
Before I go, please try to help other moms out. We have to stick together. Seriously, we should start a club.
Did you get 30 newborn onesies at your baby shower? Pay it forward. Did you receive two swings? Help a mommy out. The world will be a better place because you did.
#newmoms #helpamommyout #payitforward #GFY
It’s a beautiful day in New Jersey. It will be seventy degrees and full of sunshine. In a few hours, I will be going over to my grandmother’s house for a mother’s day lunch with my mother and grandmother and rest of the family. We will be partaking in a small feast complete with heavenly cupcakes for dessert. But the greatest part of the day will be getting to party with my two favorite women.
These two women love me a lot. I cannot begin to describe how much they’ve done for me and how great a debt I owe them for making me who I am. They are the shoulders I cry on, the women I turn to with anything. They’ve been there for me when no one else was there, through thick and thin, storm and high water. My mother has toiled in the trenches to provide support and my grandmother has been a constant caregiver. I don’t know what I’d do without them. Between the two of them, I have the double-whammy of female role-models so I know the multifaceted nature of being a strong woman. My mother goes out into the exterior world. She is a superstar of song, hard work, and living your dreams. My grandmother is the master of the interior world and making a home and caring for your family.
I hope to one day be the best of both their worlds. I eagerly look forward to the day I will have my own family for which to care and support. I also want to be an example for my own children in living my dreams. I think I am that woman. And it is thanks to my mother and grandmother.
In love of mothers everywhere, happy mother’s day!