Love and Attraction

Love and Attraction

We do what we do to attract those we’re attracted to.

We cannot help who we’re attracted to-

Just like we cannot help who we love.

But when we love,

Love truly and completely,

We love across boundaries-

Real and imagined.

We love because of

And in spite of

Personal flaws.

We love because we wouldn’t want to live life without it.

We love because it’s in our nature to love.

 

That’s an oldie but goodie poem I wrote back in 2001 or 2002.  I bring it up out of the depths because it is still very relevant today.  I bring it up because the reverse is also true.  We can’t help who were attracted to just like we can’t help who were not attracted to… despite all your hopes weighing in for it to be so because of incredible common interests and compatibility.

I’ve noticed now an alarming trend.  I am attracted to people who are not good for me.  Holler at me if you are stuck in this dilemma and tell me how do you get out?  Why?  Time after time fall for the emotionally unavailable, aloof, space cadets or the (not so) borderline abusive?  Why not someone sweet, caring, and romantic?  Someone just like yourself?  But no, you only feel luke warm and angry now that you know that you are so deranged.  Don’t you dare blame this on my parents either.  No psychoanalytic bs, just need some real talk.

At the very least, I recognize this.  I am going to embrace my single time and try healing some more.  There have got to be some answers.  I turn my ear onto the wind’s breath and sink into the sound of air and spirit tickling my lobe.  Erase me.  Captivate me in the soothing answers of the clouds and sunlight seeping through my windowsill.  Let me know that I am on the right road, that I have done my best. And let that be enough.

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5 comments on “Love and Attraction

  1. You know, i loved this post. the poem was sweet, but your follow up text was perfectly expressed. healing can never hurt. I think you are so smart to recognize that. truly embrace it & do things you can’t as well with someone else in your schedule. Go explore the outdoors, travel, buy a painting set, sign up for singing lessons. whatever YOU want! the world is really at our fingertips if we reach out of ourselves. . . .

    the other thing you pointed out, was taste in the wrong guys. it might be where you are (culturally)… the other thing someone told me the other day, (i wrote a poem on my site if you want to check it out for more details), is that “Girls have this dream guy they envision. But he does not exist. If you want him to become real, then you have to carve him yourself.” … what she meant is, that every guy needs some work.

    And finally (this comment is entirely too long, i apologize), you look absolutely gorgeous in your pic, & based on what ive read on your site, you are very deep, intelligent, & kind as well. I don’t think it’s the best apples that get picked first. It’s the easy ones on the ground. Wait for a guy willing to climb for you. I’m sure he’s out there somewhere, becoming a man. ~unwritten truth

    • @Unwritten Truth – Thank you for visiting and commenting. My healing does encompass all of those fun things you mention. It’s really good me time. I will have to read the piece about the “dream guy” … I don’t know that I’ve ever done much carving. And thanks a lot for that last bit of advice, it really touched me… “Wait for a guy willing to climb for you.”

  2. Men are not turkeys. They are not to be carved. The honest, romantic, kind, sweet, and forgetful ones come with flaws. You will not find one that has none, because there is not one that exists.

    You need to decide for yourself which virtues you desire, which flaws are worth overlooking for the benefit of your overall goal – to find your soulmate. But most importantly, learn how to LET GO of the past, and MOVE ON.

    Be well. I had fun.

    • I totally agree with you. I do need to move on. But I’m really fresh off a break-up – only three months after being with someone for three years. There is a lot more healing that needs to take place. I’m in a weird, funky place emotionally and it was way too soon to date again. And I apologize to you for that.

  3. You cannot be erased. Or, you live in denial which is not healthy. We all are, each, balls of experience.

    We do love because we need love.

    Hope you are well.

    Joel

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